Improvising Oranges - my visual journey

Small things

2011-03-19T05:47:00.000-07:00

Spring!

2011-03-13T07:44:00.000-07:00

I'm keeping up with my scrapbooking habit - somehow very relaxing!

Second hand galore

2011-02-19T11:50:00.000-08:00

Since this year is passing by so quickly I decided it was time to spoil myself a bit once I made it to Helsinki's biggest second hand market. I strolled up and down the lanes with Michelle. Stopping by hundreds of garments, pausing to catch up on smalltalk and reflecting on important everyday advice (how to make the most of what we have, really enjoying it), we picked up small stories. A gold leather clutch used by a governess "a very fierce and colorful person, extremely classy but absolutely not snobby at all, and about one hundred years old", said the owner. A summerdress from Brazil, a crazy jumper from Thailand (didn't fit - anyone wants it?), a series of pretty little bags to arrange my necklaces in, a golden belt, a black perfect handbag, a glam office cardigan and a vintage leathercase for a notepad - with a lock! I firmly believe that beautiful things carry beautiful moments in them. Just layin my eyes upon them generates happiness - so why not.

On the top of the world - Nepal

2011-02-01T00:27:00.001-08:00

I have so many words for my 3 weeks Nepal and my 12 hours in India: Poverty, awesomeness, cast, humbleness, Everest, pollution, rural, fight, development, hope, fear, power, future. All of these words mean so much more to me now.

I keep remembering things I thought I wouldn't be able to when I look back at old photos.

Autumn, gracefully

2010-11-14T13:20:00.000-08:00

3 years

2010-02-11T06:17:00.000-08:00

Today it has been three years since love started to grow between me and my beloved.

Today is good. I look forward to my salsa classes, ponder upon a possible future Phd, journeys and projects.
Meanwhile I try to keep up with work.
Tomorrow is Friday, come weekend, come joy.

Tree of Life, Arbol de la Vida

2010-02-05T12:03:00.000-08:00

Tree of Life, Arbol de la Vida #1

Acrylics on canvas, 25 x 25 cm, by JL, December 2009.This is the first out of four paintings. Purple Winter. Next one will be slightly colder and a lot bigger, peaceful and in grace. Soon.

Inspirational note to self.

2010-02-05T11:47:00.000-08:00

I would love to make a new zine, and another art show.
I would love to take more portraits and find exciting surroundings. Learn new techniques. I would love to see as much inspiring photography as possible this spring.
And make something that lasts. Light can be so many different things and I want to remember.
Happy Friday.

Photos from my exhibition Reflejos in Lima 2008.

Blog Revival

2010-02-05T11:13:00.000-08:00

Ingredients this week: Winter frost, happywild bird tweets, romanticism gone post-modern. Art and development with monumental ideas. Keep happiness in mind and dare some everyday kitch. Joy of life. That simple. All in a week.

Gravity

2009-07-23T00:45:00.000-07:00

Crawling up in your arms
I feel the sun dancing on my chest,
Yes, it's a sundance in my chest
Let the sundance do its moonwalk,
reverse, come back and stay
So I can treasure the sun I see

July, warm sullen days, apples greener than iris,
lilies collecting rain water,
drops dripping dripp dripp drop
like I remember you, a second at a time
Gravity
heavy skies telling me:
This rain might also
have fallen
on You

This is a song

2009-03-08T12:12:00.000-07:00

I will remember you

As night falls,

Until day breaks anew

I will be there

To watch you fall from greatness to fragility

Climbing up and further

We know we have to fall

Nothing

will take me from the shoulders of faith

A puddle

with roses in mud

Will you fold your pocket-hands away for me

Will you be bend back time for me

Make me feel like it was still yesterday

When yesterday let me live by your shoulder

And the breeze was a light version

Of you

Cuento rescatado (marzo 2009) sobre la primavera y las posibilidades de aquella

2009-03-06T14:29:00.000-08:00

¡Acabo de leer que el café protege contra cancer de piel! "Ojalá que llueva café en el campo"...Nos tomamos un cafecito tipo finlandés, lo tomamos sentados en mi cocina, y después preparamos nuestras mochilas para ir a entregarle su carta en persona al señor Mohammed. Así será, así haré, con mi chalina de Marruecos puesta. Que bellísimo es el mundo, mi amor, de verdad, de verdad.

Llegando a Finlandia este invierno de 2009 no pasé frío - nunca pasé tanto frío - por que mi piel quemaba del sol del Perú. Aquí todo es blanco, variedades de blanco, texturas de blanco, luz que revienta en mi anillo, parece un cuento de hadas, un mundo helado, paciente, descansando en secreto. Quién sabe sí jamás volverá a descongelarse, quién sabe, quién sabe.

Ojalá que llueva, por que la lluvia derrite todo, la lluvia de abril huele a flores azules y amarillas y así vendrá la explosión de color, de amor, de primavera. Los niños cantan en las calles afuera de sus colegios, cantan: "Vintern rasat", - el invierno ha caído-, con fuerza, de golpe, parecido a las explosiones que surgen cuando el mar se deshace del hielo, de los 30 centímetros forzados encima de él, los bloques de hielo se juntan, corren, vienen hacía la orilla y allí se quedan, amontonándose, formando montes pequeños, hasta que el sol calienta todo y el nivel del mar sube un rato, por todo el hielo que ahora forma parte de ella, que le alimenta después tantos meses de coma.

Nos iremos a África a entregar esa carta a Mohammed en Rue el Kadi, el señor que fabrica sombreros, que fuma, que conversa con viajeros occidentales y mochileros, soñando con Granada, el imperio mozárabe y patios de naranjas en el gran Andaluz. Dice que si entiende, que entiende lo cruel que fue la conquista, la colisión de culturas y religiones, pero que sin embargo, somos todos iguales, lo nuestro fue lo suyo, lo que tenemos lleva raizes de lo suyo, y no lo podemos negar. Que los dos mundos están más cercanas de lo que podemos imaginarnos, y que deberíamos intentar, por lo menos tratar, de entender por que almohada se llama almohada, y exactamente que España y Europa sería sin el imperio arabe. Así somos todos enredados, por bien y por mal.

Le escribiremos de la nieve, adjuntamos la leyenda de la última fortaleza de su mundo en el otro continente, que una vez fue suyo y ahora es imperio de las turistas. Le entregaré la carta que un viajero quiso que el tenga, un agradecemiento por una conversación sencilla pero honesta, una fotografía de 2005 y una prueba de que más allá de las montañas hay los recuerdos de su pasado, de su nación orgullosa, y un mundo blanco, que el sabe que jamás verá por que a él le tocó coser sombreros y hablar con viajeros en una casita azul con una puerta muy pequeña pero siempre abierta. Llena de gracias y prejuicio ninguna. Destino Chefchaouen, 60 kilómetros de Tétouan, cerca de las montañas Rif, tres cuadras del mercado central, donde la calle gira a la derecha y da hacía una casa y un patio de naranjas.

Y un sueño de algún día cruzar el río, que para este señor ni es mar.

Momentos del río Momón

2009-03-06T14:24:00.000-08:00

Visual moments from Iquitos, Peru, in February 200

2008-12-30T12:15:00.000-08:00

Wishes for 2009

I hope to complete my Master of Arts degree successfully
I hope to find a fulfilling full-time job
I hope to return to Peru
I Hope to stay healthy
I hope to be creative in new ways
I hope to be truthful to myself, always

Update, 13.3.2o11: it all happened!

New Year

2008-12-30T10:43:00.000-08:00

To celebrate the arrival of 2009 I would like to look back at the past year.

January: Travelled to the north of Peru and met my boyfriend's family, started painting again which made me feel great, had a lot of hopes and plans for the coming year and felt slightly stressed about how to make it all happen. What usually happens, right?

February: Partied at the beach, very nice, the Peruvian way! Moved in with a very good friend for a few weeks in order to revive everyday life, got two wisdom teeth extracted, the pain! Moved to a cheap hippie house, too wild, not clever at all! Basically fled the house and celebrated a year of love.

March: Organized several communications meetings at the NGO, freelanced about pre-columbian culture. A lot of dentists and weekends up in La Molina.

April: Started preparing for my expo and thesis investigation, had many health exams done. Oh the shore!

May: Worked hard on an annual report, went a lot to the dentist and to a lot of doctors (what kind of year was this???), did a Herbalife bonanza for a month (one saves time not having lunch!), worked veryverylate during weekdays.

June: Worked hard on the annual report, curated a expo for a Peruvian friend, did freelance photo commissions in Lima, worked on my thesis, went to the gym a lot - wohaaa!, read a lot about ALC-UE and became a bilateral expert, looked for a thousands of jobs in Lima for 2009, wanted to go as a journalist to Cuba and the rainforest but decided to do so the next time around in Lima. Instead, I focused on my show and my thesis. Got my cellar phone stolen. Decided not to work for UNESCO. Went a lot to the "dangerous" downtown to have my photo prints done.

July: Got my first business card done (!), Inaugurated my first solo exhibition, freelanced about Peruvian cuisine, gathered the final thesis material, cried a lot - didn't want to leave!!!, bought presents, flew to Barcelona, loved Gaudi, reencountered with Patti. Realized what I wanted for the coming year in Finland and for us.

August: Worked at the local newspaper, did translation work for a Peruvian friend, prepared to move, again.

September: Worked some at the newspaper, celebrated a calm birthday, moved in with friends in Turku, threw a birthday party and started my MA seminars, stayed at friends' summer houses, visited Charlotta in Helsinki, did MA thesis interviews, met new friends, enjoyed Finland a lot. Learned to cook new dishes.

Oktober: Presented my first thesis advance, partied a la Bollywood.

November: Passed my last and most difficult exam ever, was at uni a lot, wrote freelance articles about Barcelona and Combi Culture. Struggled a lot with my thesis and how to structure and focus it. Went to Poland for vacations.

December: Presented my methodological thesis advance, completed my advanced salsa class of the fall, tried afro dance, worked freelance, was selected for a group exhibition in Helsinki, enjoyed Christmas in Turku and a day in Helsinki, spend Christmas at home with my family and my Peruvian friends who came to visit. Went to the polar circle. Thought it was veryvery dark in Finland.

What I learned and was reminded of in 2008:
To know when it is time to go home,
that nothing compares to good health
and that I can do anything.

How to stand up for what is right
and how to correct what is wrong.

How to focus, lower the expectations
and how little we need to be happy.

That travelling is always investing and
that friendship and family is a treasure.

To relax a lot at the beach
To learn to accept people, including me, as they are.

That hard work pays off and that planning is always worth it
Relentlessly.

That if it does not work out, it is because the time has yet not come.
Like surfing, life comes in waves
you will learn to ride when you dive into them.

Come beautiful 2009 for me to live.

Missing you

2008-10-05T14:00:00.000-07:00

It has existed in some form ever since
Cutting my lips in flowering tears
Bending me

It has been there in some form ever since
Made me dance into dust

All I know is that it has been me, been us
Been you, together,
for as long as I can remember
It is a force now slumbering
for greater deeds
for other times

[Come back to me,
you flew like a bird
from my tree
Now it is so silent]

Understanding temporary loss

2008-08-23T09:48:00.000-07:00

In the South, we love. A flower in the desert, a deserted dove in the flowering mountains. It is fragile yet strong.

I remember your stories about flowers, growing everywhere, in impossible places, in crackled stones, in your kitchen. I see you, your words, where ever I go. I am the roots turned upside down, I re-root, stay strong. You, in my hand, flowering.

I must go, leaving you with the flower and the dove, leaving you with the nightfall and the daylight, leaving you with myself, as you play for me, feel for me, see for me, laugh and cry for me, please keep on being all that you are for me.

At the Zoo

2008-07-13T18:31:00.000-07:00

This is the only freedom I can give you.

Vuelvo al Sur - Te amo, Siempre, se vuelve Siempre al amor.

2008-07-13T18:02:00.000-07:00

Sueño el Sur,
inmensa luna, cielo al reves,
busco el Sur,
el tiempo abierto, y su después.

Caetano Veloso - Vuelvo al Sur

El inicio!

2008-07-01T07:17:00.001-07:00

Bienvenidos esta noche a partir de las 7 pm a celebrar mi nuevo expo conmigo en La Noche de Barranco! Les espero!

Cambio de fecha y hora

2008-06-17T09:16:00.000-07:00

I recieved the invitation for the opening of my photo exhibition!

Note that the day and hour has changed - tuesday first of July at 7 pm!

Recibí la invitación del C.C la Noche de Barranco! La fecha y la hora ha cambiado, bienvenidos el martes primer de julio a las 7 pm!

Pathfinder

2008-06-05T10:43:00.000-07:00

Surviving

2008-05-28T20:14:00.000-07:00

Y la lluvia caerá
Llenando mis cajas de miedos y ambiciones
Inundándome, llevándome
Y se lo llevará todo
Lo que quedará,
Partecitos de cielos perdidos y guardados
Afortunados intentos de mis pocos años
Mis desplazados gestos
Las palabras jamás dichas

El amor de distancia va en ambas direcciones
Es un cuchillo brillando en mí ser
Al fondo, haciéndome pedazos
Ya no sé que hacer
Solo sé esperar la lluvia
De pétalos de rosas y de miel

~

And the rain will fall
Filling my boxes of fears and ambitions
And it will take everything away
Flood me, take me away
What remains will be
Little pieces of lost and saved skies
Fortunate attempts from my short years
My displaced gestures
The words never told

My long distance love
Goes in both directions
It is a shining knife in my innermost being
In the background, tares me into pieces
I no longer know what to do
I only hope for rain
Rose petal honey rain
to take me away from pain

Swish, and a planet goes by

2008-05-17T16:30:00.000-07:00

I need another soundtrack for my new winterlife.

Almost friday

2008-05-08T17:57:00.000-07:00

Perhaps I am allergic to my office, because today I felt terrible until I got home. My way home went via a doctor’s appointment. Thousands and thousands of cars and an eternity spend in the traffic, rush hour. I have been thinking a lot about globalization and socio-cultural contexts and dimensions, I would love to read more on that, especially from a Latin-American point of view. We supposedly have mice in my house but I haven’t seen any. I just finished curling my hair and am writing an article. I am hungry too, all though I had a chocolate bar to compensate the herbalife diet, eh. Today I finally send an important e-mail I wanted to send a long time ago and that was the biggest achievement this week. I hope May will bring me the answers. In a little while I’ll go to the European Commission to pick up some press material for ALC-UE and then to Bravo Restobar to do an interview, take photos and have a chocolate Martini with a couple of friends. Bliss.

Curiosities

2008-05-06T14:37:00.000-07:00

Curiosities today:

* Lunching a Caesar salad at McDonalds in the central park, a security person, dressed informally, comes up to everyone separatly saying: "I am McDonalds security, we ask you to be careful with your belongings, keep an eye at them".

* 80 pre Columbian human skulls have been dug out at the Machu Picchu sanctuary.

* An old lady in Puno, by the Titicaca lake, restaurated a colonial church herself, with the help of a big mortage she wont be able to pay. She was told her biggest mistake was to dedicate her life to teaching instead of architecture, a field she so geniously masters.

* I was told there are 1 100 NGOs (non governmental organizations) in Peru, when I was looking for one that works in mapping and documenting human settlements in Lima.

Pirates and Samba

2008-05-06T13:02:00.000-07:00

Last week ended nicely. I spend First of May going to a club up on a big hill, enjoying what might have been the last summer day. My boyfriend and I rested in the dry grass and bathed in the cold water. Then we dried in the sun, squeezed together in a sun chair. Afterwards we had rice with shellfish and black corn juice (chicha morada) for lunch.

At dawn we went back to his house, going through shanty blocks and dusty roads until we came down the hill. I felt excellent since I hadn’t been out the day before, I had plans but they were cancelled last minute and I was happy to rest my dizzy mind (evil new glasses).

On Friday night I went to see a friend, enjoy a caipirinha at the Brazilian comer bar and some crazy action paintings. Ximena told me stories about when she studied in Australia and worked as a butcher. I haven’t really felt like eating meat since, which anyway is good for me. I got some good tips about painting and healthy sand flowers. I have decided to paint big next time and prepare well, take photos before and analyse the colours. Usually, I just paint intuitively without planning at all. Later on Héctor took me to a far away but nice gig in northern Lima. Glam performed British indie rock and pop covers and I had some lemonade, my natural remedy for all illnesses.

Saturday, what a lazy, nice morning...I had lunch with Sarah and Boris (my sibling cat who kind of looks like me). We cooked ají de atún, tuna in a creamy Peruvian pepper sauce. Then we went to Polvos Azules (a large market where everything is pirated). Sarah got Lacoste shirt for 25 nuevos soles each and a YSL bag really cheap, among other things. It is really hard to tell they are copies. I got a new generator for my cellar phone, afro Peruvian electronic music - Novalima, the best of Edith Piaf and la Sarita (alternative hard rock fused with peruvian folklore). Then, I could just not resist a green nice party top and a fake leopard velvet handbag. Really I just went to find some office clothes...Afterwards we went to meet Sarah’s Portuguese teacher at a Brazilian family restaurant and caipirinhas mixed themselves with live music and samba. I spend the night snuggled up watching TV with Héctor and fell asleep really early.

On Sunday Héctor and I chilled out, looked at street art, tasted sweets in the central park, had nice coffee and read interesting stories, strolling around, soaking up on afternoon tranquillity.

To Charlotta. Herbal winter.

2008-05-06T07:09:00.000-07:00

A nice painting a friend recently got. Boris, a darling kitty I went visiting,
and some lovely peruvian ceramics. Everything from Sarah´s flat.

This entry is dedicated to Charlotta (Min bästa Tellusdelare) since I fell asleep last night in my laptop, when I was supposed to write you an e-mail. Right now I am waiting for the designated printer to get back to me with a solution to crisis which arose yesterday with my publication, and while doing so I thought it would be a good idea to write in English, since I don´t have the symbols I need to write in Swedish at work. And if I write in English, I might just as well share on my blog. Furthermore I warm up for the report I will complete today on the emergency relief after the earthquake for the US. Final justification for updating at this hour: I worked late last week. A lot.

Hello Winter. It is Tuesday again and it has almost been a week since I Improvised Oranges last time, how about slowing time down a bit please, yes, pretty please, universe?? And wondering if you´ll ever come, dear day, when sun shines over Lima again. Heavy, orange, intense sun, hidden behind thick curtains of fog, woollen foggy soggy socks. The humidity is too damp and thick and eats my bones. Sun, You have gone up into thin air, up, high up in the Andes.

Yesterday I brought out the Indian in me (to say it in Peruvian), Joanna the warrior. Some days are jigsaw puzzles of people and opinions and points of views. I guess those days are for learning about diplomacy. Some days I get really frustrated. People don't show up unless you confirm and reconfirm, weird things happen to the left and right and in the end it makes you bitchy. Something worth remembering though is that anything can be resolved or at least made easier with a smile.

On Monday morning I found that a part of the wooden railing surrounding my house was missing and I assumed that someone had tried to brake into our house, a common crime in Lima. We have barbed wire surrounding the sides of the house and the balconies but only the railing separating us from the street. Having thought about it all day (even going home in the lunch to check on the house), I asked the first house-mate I saw coming home in the night. He said the railing has been broken a while since someone leaned against it too much at the last big party. It must have broken totally last night, he said. All though to me, that does not seem too logical.

Luckily, Security in Lima is getting reinforced for the V Summit of Heads of State and Government of the European Union, Latin America, and the Caribbean (EU-LAC), which will be held in Lima in the mid of May. Police patrols are hanging out in my street and the city is being polished, a quite desperate try. I think I might be able to relax for a few weeks. This time around in Peru I've been robbed twice, once in a taxi (the driver changed my 100 nuevos soles for a false ticket) and once in the office (a guardian asking for a favour grabbed my cell phone). The third time I got away, a man in a car passing by screamed to me "you´re getting robbed", and the thief ran away before he got around to emptying my bag.

Because of EU-LAC, all Limeños are given two free days in May (15th and 16th), in order to stay out of sight and out of trouble in favour of the presidents. Some streets will be blocked and it will be obligatory to bring documentation with you on all times. On my streets, police where collecting information about the residents since I live very central and my street will be closed. I think we´ll be given special permission for the security checks to enter in our own houses. This morning, the trees outside my house where getting new haircuts for EU-LAC. They have grown all summer and the leaves where reaching my waist when I passed under them, so I always used to round them on the outside, popping out in the streets sometimes almost getting hit by a car, or bending forwards to get through the ocean of greenery. Now they look proper and elegant and make my old hippiehouse look way to boho and decayed.

I spend all my lunch break queuing at the bank only to be informed that my legalized copy of my passport is no longer ok for bank operations. Walked home, picked up my passport and had a teenager moment and felt it necessary to cry a bit. I think I was hungry and stressed. Later in the night, I picked up my new teeth gadget to protect my precious little white ones from the bruxism. I used it all night and it was quite comfortable. It will do good for my bite too.

My new glasses are still making me dizzy. I look professional but fall down at 9 pm unable to work on my freelance stuff, too dizzy! Yesterday I was told to give it two days more. Lets see. If not I'll let the inner indian out again. Yesterday I was supposed to teach a girl English after work but she never showed up. So I spend the last hours of the night in bed with cold fingers, fixing broken stuff that needed fixing and watching Peruvian soap operas, very hungry but too cold to get up from bed. It was about 17 degrees Celsius in my house but the humidity makes it feel worse, and the draft. The remedy is tea lights though - they do heath up my small room and look nice :)

Today I am the boss in the office. Right now, sadly, there has been a confusion regarding the format of my publication and I spend the day yesterday trying to figure out the best solution money and time-wise. Everything is ready, the design, the paper has been bought, and now, the document is 16 mm to wide.

oooh a sun beam, I saw a sun beam! Perhaps sun will come out! And the printer just called, it is not ending up that expensive after all correcting the error, now to celebrate the Indian in me! There is hope for humanity!

(Skip this part if you´re not a hypochondriac, oh, but C, you indeed are, heee). It is kind of weird to think about how much ill I have been the past seven months. The first month I arrived in Peru (Oktober) I got an infection, sprained my foot and got scabies during a work trip. At the same time, I got some severe exema and allergies from insect bites. I tried to get wrid of the scabies for a month before the doctors finally agreed with me on the diagnosis. Then in December I got illnesses which lasted throughout January and February. Then in March I smashed my toe into metal in the street, and in April I removed two wisdom teeth. To that, add a few flues and intoxications. Now, to keep myself healthy I have decided to rely on herbs from the Amazon. All the antibiotics I have been taken started to make me ill in other ways. The local clinics know me well since I have been coming in almost every week and I keep saying that my boyfriend's mother's pharmacy will run out of supplies because of me. So now I am about to prepare tea based on Chancapiedra, Achiote, Huamanpinta, Cola de Caballo (Horsetale) and Uña de Gato (Cat´s Claw). The tea is branded "Shalom". Sounds promising. And this was the whole point of this elaborated story. Go herbs! Go health!

I think I might have found a nice gym, at last, where the instructors do they job and leave you alone and the music is nice and the people too. I want to start going tomorrow! Action! Afro dance, yoga, salsa, pilates, thai box, cardio, spinning, sauna, nutrition...Now I just have to hurry up with my freelance jobs to pay the fee.

I have found a cheaper and safer way to go the the rainforest during the short holiday coming up: there is a zone in between the Andes and the Rainforest, still green and nice and warm and exotic, but a lot closer to Lima and requires no Malaria medication and less risk of mad allergic reactions (with the luck I have been having lately).

Next time around in Peru, I will be going to the Amazonian for sure, and to Buenos Aires, and to the volcanic city Arequipa. I don´t think I am going to cover Cuba after all. I still need to Cusco in June or July to interview for my thesis (gasp, thesis and time angst). Thankfully I do have a few weeks of vacations still from work. Hello July---

And August will be all about home, going home. Right now it seems to be a bit tricky to find cheap enough flights, and that kind of goes with my longing to stay on in my new house and a new possible Unesco oriented intern-ship. But then again, my Masters degree is waiting for me in Finland and I have a nice room in a nice flat ready to live in.

Love will never walk away, I will do anything to make you feel that it's allright. Autumn music from 2006 (The Lost Patol - Alright :) and my upcoming expo in Lima are my lights right now.

Yesterday I saw a colibri, tiny, flashing its wing super fast, floating over the flowers. Green and pink and yellow. I had great coffee and inspiring ideas for a new painting. I was also invited for dinner along with my boyfriend by a person that I think might become important for me. Add to it all that this week is also the Lima art week. Celebrate Art! Oh Joy!

(Wow, I can´t believe you actually read all of my ramblings!)

Take care,

xoxox Joanna

Silence

2008-04-30T19:47:00.000-07:00

Take small, soft steps

Improvising Oranges - from the zine (2006, Spain)

2008-04-30T18:37:00.000-07:00

Fire, the sun setting into nowhere, once again disappearing. I want to chase her, fly in her path around the world. Remember to wrap your heart in sand. I want to chase the sun, I want to prevent my heart from bursting or covering in sand slowly transforming into glass, scattering. The sun is fire and blood, the sun is gas, the sun is a chemical reaction, the sun is life, a paradox, a truth in each and every one of us. A sun in my chest, a sun in your chest, waiting as we ponder upon time and why it leaves us.

Today I walked around with my head turned inside out, words emerging on the outside, stories forming themselves, detatching and flying away. In the forest I plucked down my heart from the tree tops and caught sunlight on film. I found a tree full of nails. Golden, thick blood peered out through the holes, the tree turning itself inside out to save what was left. There I was, breathing, between fresh snow and bleeding trees and narrow paths and choices. Wings are being glued together while birds sing somewhere in the naked trees. The soil is soft and brown, absorbing. There are so many things left unsaid, undone. The protecting cloak surrounding me - I have to live my legend.

The pressure of rocks. Exploding into dust, into air, like the way people eat each other with their naked eyes - and eyes are going to dissolve and float out into the endless universe. Collect dust and moonbeams and watch generations go by. I try to distance myself - wrap my heart in something soft and warm and put it on a shelf somewhere. I want to mend broken humans but I can´t.

The world rushes past and still it is oh so silent; to dance ballet without touching the ground and scream underwater - the party has just begun. Umbrellas on the run. I want to reach that place where tears become pearls. A million X-factors and I am bored, excited, perhaps tired of my own head. Robots on march and enough stars in the milkyway to cover an eternity. So why should I care, some days are nothing but fragments of stardust.

There are scratches on the back of the mirror. Compromises make you strong. The wind erases and nothing is what it seems - it is better. Paint, I will paint an ocean of dreams.

Sunshine raining. It is one of those silent days when your skin touches the sky and when rooftops sigh at the bottom of your glass. I have found a place unlike anything I have ever seen before, true to eyes and true to soul. Bumblebeeless air, like fluttering eyes when someone talks fast, with small words.

Where am I. Traveled through mountains and towns and cities, left myself at home and brought only a shell with me, a shell to fill with sea. When you reach a certain point, there is no going back, or going home. It is you and you only. Where do you find yourself when every spot on earth is your home? You connect between the external and the internal and your body is the battle ground and the haven. You look down from above.

Chocolate eyes and marble. The world spat me out and the atlantic lounged along with the twirling of my heartbeats. This life is exotic moonbeam is dying magnolia is old birdsong in thick woods. Like eyes and my floral shirt and dreams when you sleep under five blankets and without seeing the sun. Clouds in my coffee echoing, stones in my pocket, soft. Skin growing thick in the cup. Backpacks arriving, trains of thoughts departing.

Drops of chocolate on the plate, it is pretty. Because the dark brown on the pearly white is heart on snow, like a mirror, like a life. The sea of words comes crashing in - now is the time by the river and the song, song in your feet. Cover up spilled chocolate, cover up your egyptian face.

Infinite days thicker than the Nile and white laundry in the wind against the tile. Life becomes real - it can be frightening and more naked than a morning. Disintegrating like everything else, like magnolias. Inside out, external/internal, kernels and spots on the sun.

How does the table turn and the world spin, how do the trees know when to make flowers. I do not know how to grow nails but they do, I do not know how to form words, but they appear. It is time and it is the other side of you.

Heavy rain and drums and then a ladybird, a nightingale and a bucket of water, alone in a parking lot, waiting. Being there like a sparrow, underwater, inhaling. Blood and bones and bracelets. Blurred with rain. I saw a lighthouse, decided to stay and found things. It turns out trees are not green for nothing. Silence through the night. You know there are loads of different clouds in the sky and ways of telling. I sat down and looked for trees in the sky wearing the meaning of life around my wrist. When you sit on the ground you can see the sky passing by and a lot of time, going home. When the birds inside are gone.

Then we suddenly hear something that sounds like suns growing. We feel and we eat the sun - I watch you from afar. Every second everything is in order, the trees will show the way. Feels like August, touching hearts; windless dark nights swallow the old, some things need to die. Everywhere suns are growing - and peaches and lilies and rotten strawberries make butterfly love.

Smiles and decay are the same, are waves reborn into eternity forever washing secret shores. Cheekbones resting in the grass, eyes mumbling, arms stretched.

Waves crashing ashore, it is a new country and a new dream. We know nothing but we are dreamers as we read yesterdays news. I wander. I walk the paths I find. I listen to a song and hear a scream. Screaming ladybugs, screaming me, take away the endings climbing a jacaranda tree.

Watching polar bear clouds pile up on the horizon. Reminders of arctic sea currents. Soon. Pale haze and fog putting lakes to sleep. Soon,
before you know it, icy afternoons will be eating frozen leftover blueberries in the forest. Harvest; yellow carrots, blackberries, apples and plums. Improvising oranges. Eating sunshine.

On birds

2008-04-30T07:38:00.000-07:00

My first teacher in Elementary school, Katarina, taught me so many things. She did things differently, her way, applied modern methods during classes. She wanted us to be independent and strong. At the last day before she left to work in another school she gave us cards with personal texts. Mine said: "Only wild birds Fly". I remember my mom looking at it saying it was wise. Tame birds never get anywhere.

Yesterday I went to see La Vie en Rose, the movie about Edith Piaf.
Piaf - The little Sparrow. I was mesmerized by the movie, spellbound, cried my eyes out, felt it in body and soul. Most of all I loved how Piaf lived through her voice and how that was interpreted. Her strength and her weakness bound together by a power so compelling as her voice. When I was 17 and had gone to France to participate in the youth parliment days in Strasbourg, I visited Paris. At Cimetière du Père-Lachaise, I stopped at Edith´s grave. She must have been an exstatic person. It can almost be felt in the air.

I grew up in a small town and since I was a child, dreamed of seeing the world. When I was 15 or 16 I fell madly in love with the movie Moulin Rouge that Charlotta told me about. We went to the cinema with the red shabby seats in my hometown and walked home in the snow singing "One day I´ll fly away", just as Satine.

As a child I used to watch the japanese version of the Moomin cartoons and every time the episode with the clouds came on I was delighted! Fluffy clouds to ride on, to fly on! The idea of flying and watching from above always seemed so extremely fascinating. Exploring, moving on...I used to think parapenting would be an ultimatum but kind of settled for watching the earth from above in more calm manners.

When I was 18 I flew to Spain to live there for a year. This flight was my first flight (since a child) where I was able to see the earth from above. Lakes and mountains and forests, clear skies and cripsy clouds. I flew away and landed in an unfamiliar place. For the first time I was all alone and had to start over from zero. It was for me, it was what I needed and had been seeking for.

Elvira, my mother´s aunt, was strong and knew what she wanted. I remember her going out to the island, to the little cabin high up on the rock with the seagulls, even at an age when she should have had to settle for more comfortable circumstances. I liked to visit her, she was always kind and she had beautiful eyes. I have a card with a white dove reminding me of her, a gift for my confirmation. I have a photo of the two of us, Elvira with white shiny hair and the two year old me white carrot red locks, giving her a big hug, my eyes closed. We look so peaceful. Elvira wears her pearls and I wear my polka dotted favourite dress.

In the golden summer of 2006, I thought a lot about distance and flying, moving on or settling down. I was about to move to Peru and worked in an arts centre. I wore a golden short jacket a lot and big fake gold necklace with shiny birds. The sun was really hot that summer and the temperature around 30 degrees celcius day after day.

So I flew, and found myself where I am today. The golden necklace is rusty from the almost 100 percent humidity in Lima and I have "settled down", meaning that for the first time I have spent more than one year in the same city since I was 18. Sometimes, when I feel I need it, I wear my wooden brouche from Damascus (Siria) from the Church of Saint John. It is a dove with an olive branch, that very down which brought back the first sign of new life to Noa.

No birdflu in the world can take away this seemingly endless fascination I have for birds. What makes me find and pick up an emerald blue bird of Fatima in a huge market in Damascus, being told that it will protect me and give me strength, since it found me, not the other way around.

I have stayed awake until 3 am several times during summer night by the lake to paddle out and look at the swans. I have tried to sit really still under trees at my peruvian university to spot a colibri*. And I think that the word "Nightinggale" must be one of the prettiest. And without having noticed it, every painting I make nowadays has a bird in it, the very same soulbird.

Perhaps it is the wild and fragile in me, the instinct that will always take me home and the joy for summer sun and flowers. Perhaps it has got to do with legends and aesthetics and sagas. Or perhaps it is my need to admire something innocent and precious, something original and transcendent I can see every day, listen to, feel. Knowing that what ever happens, a bird will always fly.

The Little Sparrow - Piaf

*Note: Perú is a birdland!

...

2008-04-29T18:32:00.000-07:00

New glasses! yay!

Development and Dignity

2008-04-29T14:21:00.000-07:00

I work for Lutheran World Relief (as the Communications Cordinator) in the office for the Andean Region in Peru. I just finished a publication about the work we do here. Enjoy! (In Spanish).

http://www.lwr.org/
http://www.lwr.org.pe/

2008-04-29T14:05:00.000-07:00

Since I (in my previous entry) got carried away with the grandour of everything here, I might as well share the 101 Reasons to be proud of Peru publication. Enjoy :)

Courtesy of www.livinginperu.com

Wonderland

2008-04-29T13:39:00.000-07:00

Everything here is big and phenomenal and crazy. Peru is el país de las maravillas, a wonderland.

Right now, I have a huge, ripe and sweet mango in front of me, almost the size of a honey melon.

Earlier today in the lunch break, coming out of the office, I had an encounter with an enormous butterfly, those red ones with little black and yellow details you find back on the old continent. But big as a palm! It seemed really dizzy, almost collided with walls and windows. I was hoping it would sit down on my pink and red scarf, since it did not seem scared at all, but in the end it sat down in the tree with the orange flowers.

I don´t know (still) the name of many things here - blooming evergreen trees and generous flowers, lilies and things.

The spiders can be really big and scary too. And when the mosquitos bite you it swells up a lot. The waves are so strong they pull you out to the sea, the tide sweeps you off your feet and the sun burns your skin in 15 minutes. The papaya is as big as your head, my friend has gigantic turtles in her family´s garden and each night the birds sing like crazy in the metropolitan streets.

Flow

2008-04-29T07:56:00.000-07:00

And be free

2008-04-28T22:04:00.001-07:00

The Vagina Monologues was a stunning and very strong interpretation of the femail reality. It was sad, chocking, true, and just incredibly funny. I can´t remember when I laughed that hard last time.

Yesterday I went down to the beach and the line of restaurants to take photos and do an interview. Unluckily no one turned up for the interview but I arrived just in time for the sunset.

Today I might go to Huaca Pucllana, located within the compound of a 1,500-year-old adobe pyramid built by the original inhabitants of Lima, in the heart of the city - said to be one of Lima´s greatest dining surprises. I need to take photos of classic criollo cooking. And end up in Bravo for some peruvian novoandina fusioned culinary and a chocolate martini perhaps.

It is freezing and I am keeping myself busy thinking about the photo booklet I want to make for my exhibition "Reflejos" (Reflections).

Thursday and Friday are free!

And tonight I am picking up my new glasses! To celebrate my new and improved sight, I might go to the cinema too see La Vie en Rose. Edith Piaf...
I'm hungry for poetry and beauty and the rainforest.

Let the sun set

2008-04-28T21:57:00.000-07:00

The sun sets really quickly in the southern hemisphere. Plop, and it´s gone.

Roseday

2008-04-27T14:42:00.000-07:00

Abrigas mi alma

y mientras tanto

Crecen rosas junto al mar

Beauty in Swedish

2008-04-26T22:37:00.000-07:00

Välsignad vare du, Skönheten,
dold i universums väldiga världar och vår lilla planet,
detta lysande svävande klot i universums svärta,
hemlighetsfullt skimrande
i blått och vitt,
brun umbra och veronagrönt.
Välsignade vare du, Skönheten,
dold i heligheten, i Kristi lidande
och de troendes böner,
som lyfter som fåglar
mot rymden,
i ord, toner och former av äkthet
och i sakrament som gör materien
genomskinlig.
Välsignad vare du, Skönheten,
dold i goda hjärtan och i mjuka
händer,
i ögonens tårar och glans,
i trofasthet intill döden.
Välsignad vare du, eviga Skönhet,
långt skirare än sländans vinge
men starkare än döden."

(Martin Lönnebo)

Tack till mamma, lånat från din blogg.

Digital Art

2008-04-26T22:01:00.000-07:00

My Partner-in-Crime and SoulSister Charlotta mailed me these two lovely pieces of digital art, all the way from Finland to Peru!

Thousands of dwelling species

2008-04-23T15:08:00.000-07:00

The Story of Rain and a Forest

Earthday, Today and Tomorrow...

2008-04-23T13:33:00.000-07:00

Keep Celebrating, Everyday.

Rainbow Hard Work Monday

2008-04-21T20:14:00.000-07:00

If I was a Lemon Pie, right now I would probably have turned into lemonade. Oh gosh, whatever that means. I am tired in a way I had forgotten was possible. Banana legs, tingly feet. I worked for 11 hours again and that is just way too much. Tomorrow I will go home earlier. The big publication for my NGO is coming together along nicely though - several monts of hard work and soon I´ll see the final final final! Today at work the Swiss coperation team visited for lunch and we had a great discussion on Bio fuel, inflation and lack of food for poor communities. It is a jungle! By the end of the day I went to my artist friend "Lorita" - little parrot friend Ceci and we worked together on the publication design. I also had Herbalife for dinner.

Girls of the Playboy Mansion. Too tired to reach for the remote. I´ve got cable TV and that makes for some serious distraction danger. I am warm and cosy and waiting for my "Tigrito" to pass by. A little while ago I went to Ripley (fancy department story where the over class and part of the upper middle class and comfortable foreigners buy their clothes) to sacrifice some hard earned money of my 500 dollar monthly salary on a warm sweater for winter and the office with the leaking window. I passed by the "Earth from above" exhibition two times in the central park in Miraflores. In 2003 I saw it in Finland. It has grown quite a lot since! Then when I came home I just had to have a little slice of my special Spanish tortilla all though I was not supposed to! It´s got tune and tomate in it too! Yummy!

Right now I am thinking about wine and chocolate. Tomorrow early morning I´ll go running and have a hot nice bath at a friends house! Over here the hot water does not seem to work at the moment. I think it works with gas? The traffic in Lima is getting really bad, several big avenues have been closed for months and the madness is impossible. So running is for early hours. Crossing streets have become an extreme sport and coming home means being safe at last.

Back to the story on Peruvian cuisine and my e-mail for UNESCO. Extra Productiveness is my new plan on everyday basis!

Hasta mañana Loritos y Loritas. I love the nicknames over here :)

El templo del Arco Iris, the Rainbow Temple, in Trujillo close to Chan Chan, as seen above.)

2008-04-20T20:57:00.000-07:00

Contemplación de vida

Mis hijos son la luna en mis pies
Mis hijos son el sol de mi cabeza
Mis hijos son lo que yo nunca viviré
Ellos son lo que yo seré

Abundante es el amor
De mis amados

Me dibujó la flor y la mariposa
por que son mis alegrías

Dibujé los árboles
Por que son el pulmón del valle,
El valle donde crecen mis rosas

Y así me fui a dormir con flores en mi mano
Aún que estoy muy lejos de allí

Infinito es la madrugada
De mis sueños descalzos.

Fits a lazy brain Sunday

2008-04-20T15:10:00.000-07:00

Another Sunday. Time goes too fast again. In need to look a the agenda.
Being in Bed, resting after a crazy office week.
Cold mornings and Chilly nights, Summes is ending. Cuba, could I do a story from Cuba?
Dark skies with full moon and smog makes for a dream canvas.
Endless ideas for projects.
Fit fir fight.
Green city, exotic city. Mad awful beloved Lima.
Hungry again, the Herbalife diet really works but it is though. I haven't quite figured out if Herbalife is a sect or a pyramid game or just a really amazing health revolution.
Illness is something I haven't felt in a few weeks. That's is amazing. I don't think I have ever been this sick like I have been the past 6 months.
Jazz! Lots of it, always.
Kindness, I try to bear that in mind everyday, all time. But it is so difficult in the streets. I am tall and strawberry blond and live in Latin america. I say what ever ugly insult I come to think of in my defense. And at work, I really wish I could think more nicely of the people that complicate my efforts. That´s my gole for now, eliminate energy thieves.
Lists. I try not to make them but they do make me feel better, divide time and future. I need to make one, a happy one. Live today, that is something I have learned this year. Hand in hand comes time rushing past like a red train.
Mother. I did not call her today since I fell asleep. Tomorrow. I need to be in touch more with people back home.
New clothes, I need new clothes! I have lost weight and things no longer fit well!
Obviously, this doesn't change the fact that I am not rich...
Plus, being shallow isn't anything admireable, all though the rest of the world tells you that it is.
Right now, I think about buying a donut! Hah!
Sunday crisis. Today i got one. Friends/Sun/Fun/Rest/Work/Creativity/House work, everything needed to be fit in one day and what to choose?
Tesis. I haven't been able to do much. Lets hope for a miracle so I can get started in september and have most of it at hand.
Useless highlights? I spend 100 nuevos soles (25 €) all though the dollar is going dooown and that´s what I am getting paid in. And they cannot be seen! Invisible highlights, yey!
Very very very very vey nice to have a free day, free of 10 or 12 hours of office work, time for rest, creativity, ideas work and thinking.
Years from here, I think I know what I want to be. I have this idea of what I would love to be, to do, to see. That's good and comforting. I still do have some sort of control.

NOTE: I did not even try with Q, X and Z since this was lame enough to start with.

And the world so far away

2008-04-19T19:47:00.000-07:00

Urban Angels daydream too
Yes they do
(I cried a river over you)

Live Summer

2008-04-19T19:37:00.000-07:00

I kind of wished LifeSummerSun would have gone one and one for ever. Now is time for personal productiveness and winter strength. All I really want is love though, live, love for this love to live. Daily parts of new Life.

Mindmap, happy mess

2008-04-19T19:25:00.000-07:00

Friday. 8 am. Why is today such a perfect day? I was woken up by the sun and I am feeling rested, my best friend from far away called me to wake me up and everything was as usual, my soul sister and I. Online I found a beautiful message from me beloved one which made my heart skip like a silly goldfish. I think that today, might be a key day, a day when things come back together. When time and desire and plans take a firm grip of my halfdreamt and halfplanned ideas and obligations, my fully fought intents, bittersweet tears and sunny laughters glue themselves togheter.

I live in a New house, a Green House

I used to live in the office

Birds and rooftops

This time, I will not postpone what I love.

New Year

2008-01-21T16:50:00.000-08:00

January, we can be anything we want to be.
Candyheart, waves crashing ashore, dust in open sandals or frozen coffee drinks.
Like melting, childish sweet poetry - Life can be exactly that; Strawberry evening sky, white lily sky, deep purple soft cotton sky, before sunshine yellow minds - this is how it should be anyway, this is for life and by life, dance, run, love. That is what I want from my year, tear away grey, crawl around doubt, live for joy, live for us. Tomorrow does not scare me, because I have seen yesterday and I like today.

2007-11-07T08:42:00.000-08:00

I am truly shocked. Finland is all over the international news and the black headlines seem unreal: "Eight killed in school shooting in Jokela".

Shooting like these don´t happen in safe, Nordic countries. We are supposed to maintain some kind of happy, glowing well-fare system where suffering pupils don´t have to reach for a gun to manifest their absurd feelings. Though Nothing can justify these actions.

Worst of all - the drama took place in the open, on youtube, one day before tha massacre, and had its prelude manifested online weeks before. More than 200.000 visitors watched a video where the young man described his plans, appared with a shotgun and made references to Columbine.

All these people who saw the video, did non of them react? Didn´t they worry the least? What kind of monster grew on internet before the tragic event in Finland? A few clicks away and it´s all there, the story about the sick boy, about his plans, his insane manifest. Rebellion, revenge and disillusions. How easy would it have been to track this guy down beforehand? Speculations wont make anything undone, wont bring anyone back. But what will the consequences be? One imagines an utopia or dystopia, a society where internet monitoring of each distrubed individual´s activities, or the online whereabouts of whom ever might be a suspected student, is something normal.

How many crimes are being planned right now on the Internet? How much intelligence is being put into predicting them?

The Finnish shooting is a tragedy, a fatal internet conspiration which brought courage and motivation to one indivual to carry out a massacre in the midst of a calm democracy.

Read more: BBC News
HESARI International

If I was an apple tree

2007-09-03T14:36:00.000-07:00

September 3rd and 23 years of sun and rain. Everytime I turn a year older my dad tells me about the windy, cold day I was born, about the storm or the frost, the first day of real autumn, winter. Forever changes. Autumn is everywhere, in the cold crisp air and in the deep dark skies, the heavy sullen moon, the warm, nostalgic music. Life is the light we see and the love we´ll be.

I had a beautiful but sleepy birthday. My first day free from work - the local newspaper job has ended. Tomorrow I head for Helsinki and later on Turku. I hope everything clicks. My cat is asleep on the printer. I got a lovely pillow case today. Printed over it, In Finnish it says:

"Jos sinä olet omenapuu tahdon minä olla omena. Jos sinä sytyt tuleen tahdon minä olla vesi tai herkästi syttyvä aine. Jos sinä hukut tahdon minä olla pohja tai virta. Jos sinä katsot kauas tahdon minä olla etäinen piste. Jos sinä suljet luomesi tahdon minä olla äkillinen pimeys." (Tommy Tabermann)

which makes for something like:

"If you were an apple tree, I would like to be an apple. If you caught fire, I would like to be water or an highly flammable substance. I you were to drown yourself, I would like to be the bottom or the stream. If you look far away, I would like to be the distant point. If you close your eyes I would like the be the sudden darkness. (Tommy Tabermann)

Loopduplicate my heart, dear life.

Photos from Spotlight, the garden of Aspegren, art installations by local artists.

Who sold Frida Kahlo? Part 1

2007-08-08T03:36:00.000-07:00

above: From timeless to Tequila. Kahlo, a communist at her time, has now become a lucrative trade mark. (Photo by Nickolas Muray for Vogue, 1940s.) Frida Kahlo corporation at a glance. Tequila.

In today’s world, where most people, don´t ever make it into the museums anyway, what would be the ultimate professional recognition in the visual arts? Having your piece hanging in the national portrait gallery in London or at MOMA in NYC? Or having a gallery host your pieces at the annual ARCO art fair in Madrid? Selling in six numbers at Sotheby´s? Or would it be taking part of some obscure happening in Moskva or underground Berlin? The answer will quite possible vary depending on the artist.

Then what about the economical power that lies within art? The capitalist potential waiting to be exploited? How far can the art business stretch, into up-town main stream merchandising, without killing the sublime "It"-factor surrounding a masterpiece? For how long can you go on reproducing a cult item?

Lets face it, anything can be sold. We are long since tired of Warhol´s Monroe and who can, past the da Vinci- code, contemplate peacefully over Mona Lisa´s facial expressions? Brace yourself, because you´ll soon wish you never heard of Frida Kahlo.

Born into a soon-to-be 21th century tragical fairy tale, the young miss Kahlo possessed all the ingredients for what we look for in a modern icon, an idol with artistic indulgence. During the 1990´s, Frida Kahlo started to attract attention – art historians having followed the western, male-oriented tradition suddenly fell in the well trodden footsteps led by the seventies Guerrilla Girls* in wild protest against the lack of female artists in the art world.

Kahlo, a feminist and protesting communist herself, couldn’t have been more in tune. It was about time west gave some recognition to a “fresh” female artist, from Latin America, above all places, another continent happily diminished in the western art tradition. What´s more, Kahlo had the perfect profile – the fascination with charismatic, suffering women is a tradition we never seem to get tired of – let it be in poetry, literature, music or art. It always sells.

As the world celebrated Frida Kahlo´s centenary on july 13th this year, the export of a brilliant painter had just begun. Frida Kahlo Corporation grows as experts already whisper about the death of meaningful, Mexican art.

And the worst part? The business works. I wouldn´t mind a pair of Frida Kahlo converse myself.

To be continued.

_________________

* “Does women only enter a museum nude?” The Guerilla Girls opposed, referring to the poor representation of female artists in museums and galleries, nude portraits by male artists aside.

Summer ! + A new international pro-flight agreement according to Joanna

2007-08-08T01:45:00.001-07:00

I´ve got a summer flu and can´t go to work. I´ve placed myself in the garden and type away at my family´s laptop, making some preparative phone calls for a story tomorrow. Wont be for long though. I want a laptop like this – without the ten thousand bugs which cannot even seem to be formatted away, a lightweight with chrystalbright screen and battery willpower to last an afternoon. The wind is warm and sooths my soar throat – I just finished an ice cream, also good for the throat, never mind what they say in Peru about cold and colds.

Gosh, I really want to be non-materialistic and save for future flights and rents, but how difficult is that when right now, I´m in a country where I can find a myriad of nice shoes in size 40 and a totally jaw-dropping gorgeous Nikon D40x or Nikon D80 or a Acer Aspire laptop cost me just about the half of a months salary. I am convinced that my life would skyrocket from great to incredible would I own a little nice laptop to bring along everywhere, capable of tuning in wireless internet and Skype. Add to own THE camera with the lenses, imagine all the good work I could do – Reuters here I come. Er, positive thinking is a good thing isn’t it? And investments too right? Money and love comes back to you…at least the well-spend.

In my new job at LWR, Lutheran World Relief, in Lima, I´ll be travelling to Colombia, Bolivia and Peru, to document the development projects the NGO run over there. The idea is to make an annual report for 2007 for the USA, where the money comes from. Good results – more money – more help for self-help.

Peru is a country rich in natural resources but we have had a long history of bad government which has robbed the country of its riches and its place amongst the economic elite. But things are slowly changing and on a macro-economic level Peru is doing very well with increasing foreign direct investment and GDP growth. The trick is channelling this growth through to the population at large where it matters most.
The lack of education and corporate governance gives way to bad management, ignorance and economic waste.

Someone has to show what good has been done and what impact it has hadand what still is needed. That´ll be me in the case of LWR. Other things I´ll be doing are: improve the homepages, redesign brochures and other printed material (iiip someone teach me Indesign quick!) and improve the communication with the US and the visibility on a national level in Peru. (sounds like quite the challenge).

Today H and I had our first video conference morning date – after two weeks working I´ve learned how difficult it can be with 8 hours of time difference and the two of us working office hours. I still think international phone calls should be absolutely free, at least taking into consideration relationships improving intercultural communication and worldwide cooperation. I mean who knows, Finland-Peru could be the new Middle East silver route or two nations getting together to miraculously create world peace? The persistent Inca people with their joy for life and the hard-working Finns with the “Sisu”- power, together it could be an explosively productive mix. Yeah, free air fare Peru - Finland, now and forever! Joanna for President! (I´ve had 2 cups of coffee this morning). By the way, I don´t like it when people say Peru is faaaar away? Perhaps Finland is far away from all the rest? Hey, we practically live by the polar circle? When I´m in Peru I´m at the southern hemisphere, close to, um, er, the Galapagos Islands? Ok, lets jump to the conclusion that we are both two equally far away nations. Which makes it even - couldn´t matter more where I hang my hat. (I have to start using a hat now. )

This might be a way around the distance though and a reason to get up in time. Why is sleeping in a few minutes extra the best thing in the world? The morning date. Poor H has to stay up late. Well I guess you do anyway? I live in the future and 8 am in Finland is midnight the day before in Peru. We exchanged cartoons and I managed to find things I´ve totally forgotten about, like the Italian cartoon “The Line” and some fav episodes of Pingu, yay for penguins in clay and transforming lines. Watched some good partes of the moomin cartoons made in Japan, the magicians hat is the best one!

Every summer I read Tove Janssons “The Summer Book” and “Moomin Midsummer”. Every time I find new take on the Moomin philosophy I didn´t realize where there before. The familiar sounds, smells, sensations the masterpieces bring me are just indescribable. About reading: I also managed to read two books I absolutely loved, which doesn´t happen too often, being rather picky about litterature. The Norwegian journalist Åsne Seierstad´s "The bookseller of Kabul" and "The white Masai" by Corinne Hoffmann (My defense for love without geographical, cultural and lingusitic borders). True stories, politics and far away places does it.

Lately I´ve picked up my old fascination for india. I´ve got this amazing book full of colors and recipies and spices. Also, everything about the Swedish language, since I need to feel closer to my mothertounge, living far away from it. The need to master it 100 per cent is ever-present, since I do the freelancing and right now, the local newspaper job.

The last few days have been really hot, finally the summer Finland has been waiting for, summer for real. The endless rains was starting to get to me, winter in Lima could be warmer.

I´ve got this incredible urge to go to the rainforest. Once I return I have to reorganize the trip with my NGO to cover a case of environmental pollution in the central rainforest – I only travel if someone else pays for it nowadays. At least until someone starts to give away my intercontinental flights for free, leaving me with extra cash to see Brazil, Argentina, Mexico. I live in Latin America but I only notice it watching the news and reading magazines. I think I´ll understand it once I cross a Peruvian boarder. Going up to Ecuador would be nice, someday, to see the lovely, subtropical beaches up north further from the cold humbolt stream watching the coast of Lima. Only a few hours south of Lima you get almost eternal summer, down in the desert and by the coast.

I long for the desert too – finally ordered a pair of sunnies correcting my sight. Can´t stand travelling and using contact lenses under normal sunnies, resulting I never wear them. The sun is strong in Peru - Goodbye sunshine headache!

A few Cs for today:

Centralization - Having spend a year in the Peruvian state striving towards decentralization, covering the communal politics of my region has been quite refreshing. According to new laws, the regions of Finland are undergoing a process of restructuralization and right now the healthcare is walking down the line of disagreement among communal politicians. No one want to give in as the centralization process diminished their power in favour of efficiency .
Are there any politicians in this world who free-willingly give away power without first moaning endlessly about it creating conflict, all though this very thing would favour the people? Well, decentralization in Peru is being strongly driven, placing to power and the action back in provinces, rightfully so. I´ve even started to see the downside to it – Non governmental organizations outsourcing a lot of their organization resulting in a confused management and poorer internal control.

Canoes – How I love them. When sun is setting and there is absolutely no one around and nothing more left of the day than the glittering silk surface of the water mirror, a light sea breeze and the sunset I head out for a tour, to find swans, to look up at the round sky, see how the world opens up and the horizon makes for the perfect canvas. The canvas for tomorrows outlines, for yesterdays memories, for the moment, little paragraphs about now – about focusing and feeling only now. I have recently re-learned the power in the eternal cliché Carpe Diem, the things I always wanted to know. To feel the moment and that being all – the shape of a stone or the depths of a feeling – but only one. This is one of my number one things I want to master – total concentration on the moment now existing, and it might be my largest challenge, always having a zillion of projects around, striving on the adrenaline of juggling this and that. It is so very simple and fundamental and in all doing, thinking and saying.

Next Improvising Oranges session: Dragons and Daylight and Dreams.

Photo by and with my little sister a Sunday a few weeks ago. Rose by mum. Our cat is called Ludde. It´s a macho name but the cat is a she.

I really want to write a book.

Now lunch is ready, the only thing which seems to be able to make me put a dot to this today.

.

C - Continued

2007-08-04T23:24:00.000-07:00

Yes, the cities - I was born in a small town of aprox. 20.000 inhabitants on the Finnish west coast - a perfectly running micro-society. When I was 18 I moved south to study in a medieval city of 200.000, full of students, society and academia. Through the city runs a river, dotted by trees glowing in the autumn, where it ends lies a castle and where most people cross watches an enormous cathedral.

I spend two intense and fun years in Åbo, studying History of Art, a bit of Spanish and a lot of different things. I had some great fun with the art history students society Eikon and all the other for-students-by-students formations. I started to work as an art critic during my first year and managed to earn a scholarship for Spain.

My second year of Uni I went to the golden city of Salamanca, to the Spanish highlands and the meseta. This was in a way my gap-year, full of siestas, tapas and great wine sometimes in the warm evenings. Some wonderful travelling to Morocco, Portugal and through central Europe. I didn´t work for an entire year and got to know some amazing people I still keep in touch with. I leart a lot about the world, myself and of course, Spanish, having thrown myself into art history studies entirely in Spanish. I saw so much great art and architecture this year. Salamanca itself is a renaissance gem in sandstone, glowing in the sunset.

Last summer, after having spend a year in Åbo again, completing my courses and my BA-thesis on photography, I had more jobs than I could juggle. In the end turned out I went to work in small city in the southcoast in-between Åbo and Helsinki. Pro Artibus, an arts centre and foundation gave me the long since craved insight into the art world and all though working harder than ever I really started to love the field. Was offered a position at an art gallery in Helsinki by the end of the summer.

That´s when I went to Peru instead of heading for the Finnish capital. A very happy decision. I had planned on studying journalism as my minor subject farther north, just about an hour from my hometown. I did actually apply for that 4 years ago. It is a really good faculty, part of my uni, and should have turned out great I am sure. All though heading for the PUCP in Lima ment risking a few things it turned out to be the best decision I have ever made in my almost 23 year old life. I cannot see how my life would be should I not had gotten to know Latin America and Peru and particularly Lima.

One of the most fascinating things I have experience must be getting to know what it means to be European and what it is to be Euro-centralized. I did not think us to be but we very much are. I feel the world shrinking and expanding in the same time and abroad I no long label me as much Finnish as i label me European. Every now and then I think about the Indian artist couple I worked with a summer ago in the south, how they frowned at Europe and our ways. In a friendly and surprised way, still wondering how we get along the way we do. Admiring some things endlessly, lacking other things horribly.

Living is something quite exciting to arrange. How, where, to what price and with whom? When I moved away from home for the first time I was teamed up with my one year older brother. It felt safe and familiar and is a time i really cherish - this is when I got to know my brother a lot more - still not quite as student-esque as living with other fellow student, a thing I got to try for the first time in Lima. The madness of Bacaflor, where I stayed for 11 months in Lima, is endless and lovely and would make for a book. There I met all kinds of people, loved them and learnt from them and sometimes, almost wanted to sream. Just the way it is supposed to be in life. I even got to live with a baby dove.

In Spain I shared a lovely attic with a young, colombian architecht who secretly loved to boss me around. I think she managed to manipulate my quite a bit but nonetheless we got along fine and I really loved the place and since then, Colombia feels friendly.

In the little tiny town by the sea with the big arts centre, I lived alone for the first time in my life. Three months went by faster than blinking and only partly did I feel the downsides of not sharing your everyday life with anyone. I lived in an attic-room in a empty boarding school. It looked like a great mansion and had an enormous renaissance garden and the beach taking on where the mown grass ended. It had been a mental hospital before they made it into a vocational training school and during the wars it served like a hospital. People went crazy when I told them where I lived - alone. The ghosts! The ghost!

I never saw any.

Why does it feel like I am writing my memoir doing this?

C for cities...to be continued

2007-08-04T22:12:00.000-07:00

I Have lived in five Cities. Quite surprisingly, one of the best places was a town only half the size of where I live now, which makes for something rather microscopic living.

There is one single place though, which is my number one fascination. It frightens me in some ways, the enormousness of it all, and what goes on inside. Still I can’t help loving it.

Lima has etched itself upon me, inside me, forever. Even now when I am here in the absolute serenity of the Nordic summer, the air so clean it almost hurts to breath it, the mind-blowing silence and the peace and calm and structured everything, I feel the buzzle of metropolitan Lima.

The madness is an attraction in itself, the pace and the rhythm of a grooving monster with its roaring traffic. There is a certain kind of flow in the city; sure, making it down Javier Prado in rush hour is awful and having to do long commutes in old minibuses ready for breakdown is nothing to envy: but riding the the unstoppable wave of traffic has its charm. H once said that it´s like being a torero, a bull fighter, gliding between the cars and the taxis and the buses in the busy avenues where you could get killed would you blink a little too long.

The combi* culture itself is a phenomenon. You get salsa and reggeaton for your entertainment. An enormous amount of people get into the busses, there is always room for one more as the guy responsible for getting people up on the bus and down again, squeezes one more in. Sometimes saying – yes, there are seats. Where? In his own lap? You can catch a combi, micro, pretty much as you like. Waving it to you in a corner it might stop for you, if you notice on time that this is the one you like. Most of them aren´t that easily recognized by numbers or lines, since there are various companies trafficking Lima**.

Steet vendours climb up and down the combis, they might sing, play or give a little speach trying to sell you miraculous candy. The athmosphere is overall relaxed and something unexpected always happens riding a micro - if only you succeed in avoiding the pick-pockets. Overall it is safer than riding the also quite cheap taxis alone, since most of them aren´t licensed.

The combis pass by screaming out their destinations, you can’t hear you own thoughts over the traffic, the sharp voices and the buzz. You try to get the right one, sometimes it goes by color or some distinctive stripes someone told you to look for. It´s like the jungle with a myriad of species***. There are some really nice retro cool ones too. Mustard-yellow and sunset-orange and blood grape-red. The exterior decorated with a slogan, a dedication to a loved one or a short prayer. Inside there are clan-stickers, saying the driver is the strongest and the best and others asking the passengers not to ask for more speed, safety is more important. I thought they drove fast enough as it was…

The leading diary in Lima has even got its blog about the combi culture; Combi Mania. And there is a quite famous up-town clothes brand inspired by this culture, its very own logo being a micro.

Blinking saints, baby shoes attached to the mirror, plastic flowers, velvet. Sometimes a shrine devoted to a catholic saint shining red when the driver hits the breaks. Everything is old, worn-down and if not broken, about to break. All though it is like it is and you always manage to stain whatever white you might be wearing from the not-so-clean interiors, I cannot imagine Lima without this. The European squeaky cleanliness is boring and knowing that next bus number 78 will be arriving on the minute in exactly 3:45 minutes time from now (a digital screen on the bus stop and the bus tells you) , makes for too much planning. Time might be money but we are not its slave.
You get on and pay for your paper ticket and then scream whenever you want to get of.

_____________________

* Micros are the most common means of public transportation in Lima and many other cities in Peru. The word micro is used in common-day Peruvian Spanish as an abbreviation for microbus (minibus). While the bigger vehicles are known as micros, the smaller ones are known as either combis or micros. These privately-owned vehicles are not only known for being very cheap and convenient but also for being rather risky. (answers.com)

** There are approximately 60 000 micros in Lima. Since almost all of these vehicles are poorly maintained, they produce a great amount of pollution. Statistics show that in July 2001, the amount of nitrogen dioxide (NO2) was of 236.66 mg/m³, the maximum allowable quantity being 100 mg/m³. The presence of small particles of different materials (dust, lead and other metals), was also high during this month: 294.12 mg/m³, while the allowed limit is 150 mg/m³. (answers.com)

*** The most popular vehicle types used by the small micros (combis) are Toyota HiAce and Nissan Urvan microbuses, while the bigger micros are usually Toyota Coaster or Mitsubishi Fuso Rosa vehicles. A few older bus lines from the pre-combi era use large fourty-odd year old buses. (answers.com)

Photos from answers.com (my own are at another computer right now)

***

It is Sunday and I woke up at 7 am. I am now all dressed in a tube top and a sun skirt and sandals from Africa, but no where to go since it is almost raining. Having a little bit of breakfast – leftovers from yesterdays waffle party I made for my siblings in our garden. Fresh waffles direct from the iron with blueberry jam and ice cream and honey with taste of lemon.

Pearls!

2007-08-02T10:54:00.000-07:00

Believe it or not, Pearls is ready! Only need to get it hosted somewhere!

Looks like:

Pegasi of acrylics

2007-08-02T09:52:00.000-07:00

I am painting again and I love it!

Here are a few ones I made in 2004-2006.
Yesterday I was about to write "little pieces" in Spanish, pedacitos and turned out i wrote pegasitos, little pegasi. So I hereby give you a small pegasus, a pegasito.

One A and four Bs

2007-08-02T08:58:00.000-07:00

A Lot. I feel like writing a lot all though I am totally emptied of typing-energy after a mad but fun day at the local newspaper. So to escape the structures and the most needed thought-throughness my profession requires, I trust the ABC.

Beach finds are things I see - something unusual or nicely colored or peculiar on the beach, it eventually ends up in my pocket. Resulting I have about 2 kg of beach finds in my room – heart shaped stones from Portugal, pink ones from Spain, rocks from Syria and shells from Morocco. Many of them look the same, only a few can be categorized according to why when and where, but the gems are so charged with being there, feeling the sun and knowing the wind, that I cannot simply get wrid of any of them. Feeling the crackled surface in my hand, the fragility of the ocean-born rests of what was life and purpose tells its story, brought to someone, to me, to light, from the blue masses of the planet, from barrier reefs, from organisms and from years and years of crashing waves eating away at rock-solid stubborn shores.

Bergman died four days ago. He wasn’t really that appreciated in Sweden and up north, in comparison to the international film community. I think he was too good for his own part of the wordl and who wants to be a prophet in his hometown anyway? However, I still love Fanny and Alexander and his absurd genius mind, thoroughly Scandinavian. The way he plays with light and emotions and the unexpected, haunts me for days, having seen his movies.

Being me is still a great adventure. Being at home and in my own country makes me see different sides of me. I really like it, to be in my own skin. I absolutely dislike climbing out of the warmth of my bed in the mornings, but I feel the warmth of the smile of my beloved one on the other side of the planet. Smile and bike to work thinking I´ll be late, skipping breakfast. Having struggled through that part I really enjoy every second I am given on this earth, in this body. Nowadays find it very easy to speak my mind, no matter the situation. I hope.

Blueberries grow like crazy in the green deep forest just at the corner of my house. Where the garden ends a myriad of black eyes take on, calling you to pluck them, make them into a pie with vanilla icing. They leave you blue inside, lips blue, veins blue, heart blue? One blueberry is enough to color your white, crisp shirt forever, like blue eyes and blue days and the horizon. I love a berry that little and that strong.

***

Gosh, I am dizzy all the way down to my knees. Too much typing today. That´s why I´ll spare you the rest for now. This thing goes on forever, so be warned. It stretchs all the way to Ö, which isn´t even used in the English language, so you get the idea. (The photos I´m putting here, this time happen to be my mum´s, creds to her)

I love you, Héctor Montes Correa. I haven´t told you that many times in English, quite obviously since the two of us speak Spanish. I adore you.

2004-2005: Salamanca

2007-08-02T01:39:00.001-07:00

Since I seem to be all about hindsight right now I might just as well keep it coming:
This is the best from my exchange year in Spain.

Anna and Oxford

2007-08-02T01:34:00.001-07:00

Turns out I hopefully get to see my English friends while I am in Europe this summer!

From our last reunion:

[08 Feb 200605:08pm]

In Oxford, a bit knackered after 14 hours of traveling, but content. This city does not seem real, toycity, toycolleges. I know it is real though, I guess it just takes time to let it all sink in. I have heard so much about this place and now it's here, for me. Oxford is a different kind of preppy, it's hard work and legends all mixed up in one. Boys in tweed walking with hands in their pockets and girls with ponytails and shiny boots. I am staying with Anna in Merton college, looking out the window I can see the house where a japanese princess lives. Half four in the morning I arrived at Anna's doorstep in a funnylooking taxi. The trip was smooth, too easy almost! I had memories of a different continent in mind. Oxford is quite exclusive, a town that doesn't feel welcoming in all its splendour and variety. In a way I can relate it to other circumstances. In a way, I come from a minority in a minority. I am surprised to learn this - I wonder what living here would be like.

Anna and I are going to formal dinner at Merton College soon, Harry Potter style. Tomorrow Hettie is coming up here. I spoke to her on the phone for the first time in 7 months today. Being here with Anna feels like being home, old friends, new friends. I am curious about tonight and all dressed up. Speaking English again, sometimes I have to remember to change my mindset before I speak. Swedish is etched in my bones again and I the English I speak doesnt feel quite genuine yet. I guess I am just tired, tired from traveling and staying up working on my thesis. It is bound and completed and handed in. Not quite perfect but such is life and academia. On the bus to Oxford from London students were doing homework at 4 am. I was too. But gosh, the flight was awful, something must have been wrong with the cabin pressure. I sat next to a Finnish boy who thought i was British and I let him believe so. After a while it became obvious I was from somewhere else but switching languages would have been awkward at that point, so I pretended to sleep. I need more enthusiasm.

Yay me, I could have passed for an oxfordian today. I borrowed Anna's key and as I stood outside her college looking through notes, some students smiled at me as if I would have belonged here. The first sense of belonging since i set foot in this town. This is a truly fascinating place. On Saturday I will be heading up to Manchester to be with Charlotta and on Monday a daytrip to York to reunite with Laura. This afternoon has been four nice hours of tabloids, Ribena and sandwiches, oh and not to forget Anna's tea and birthday cake. I wish I could know more about what it would be like to study here. wholeheartedly. I want to work hard and study more. Do things to be very proud of, skyhigh standards and pressure, just for a little while. Actually reading everyhting I am supposed to and read to remember. Turku, my own city, is quite sleepy and distracting, moneymaking appealing. Oh, visitor, have to go! Formal tonight...Random thoughts. Tomorrow I want to see Christ Church college, the Botanical garden, a few parks (spring in the air), museums and more colleges. Hee. And going out party like in the old times.

A year ago

2007-08-02T01:23:00.000-07:00

I found this text over at an old blog, from when I was embarking on my first journey to Peru. It's almost a year ago. I am returning, leaving for the second time on September 28th. It feels liks lightyears have passed since and still time has been frozen. I've got two homes now, one close to the polar circle and another in the southern hemisphere.

[14 Aug 200610:15pm]
This is Joanna, reporting to you from Atlanta, Georgia. J was held in US customs and security because she had stamps from Syria and Morocco in her passport. She then ran through the airport to make it through the re-check of luggage and get to the gate on time. J missed the flight to Lima, Peru, by ten minutes. She now resides in a Holiday Inn in warm humid Georgia. She has bought strange strawberry-cream Pepsi and a phone card to call the peruvian host family. So many things have gone wrong today and still I've gotten a few glimpse of starlight. I should be mad at the US immigrant laws, the travel company who scheduled only 2 hours for US transit and wrote the wrong hout on the ticket, Delta airlines who didn't stick to the gate printed and Airport people who couldn't ask the plane to stay 10 more mins. The queing and re-queing just to find out you are in the wrong queue. Customer service at Atlanta airport is horrendous.

Good thing is I met a japanese/peruvian girl at the gate in the same situation, took her under my wing as her interpreter as she don't speak english, in exchange for great company. We share a room her at the hotel and will explore Atlanta a bit tomorrow. Ticket changed for tomorrow evening / hostfamily informed after 30 different international phone card code combinations....I also managaged to make Atlanta pay for the night here, as they claimed all flights where on time and that I was to blame. But I insisted. Didn't get any vouchers for food though. My luggage was checked in, I mean EVERYTHING, in Finland. I have travelled for 12 hours with only a passport and 20 dollars. And yes my laptop WITHOUT the electricity code and computerbag. Been sqeezing a 3 kg laptop under my arm all day accompanied by a plasticbag in the other. I saw very very few other travellers having to go through that treatment. Could not even bring a book onto the Atlantaflight in Denmark where other nationalities boarded with full cabinclass luggage.

All my stuff is now in a transitarea somewhere waiting to go to Lima tomorrow. Was told it would take 3 hrs to get one of my 3 bags out for me tonight. Said no thanks and asked for a survival kit which no one else asked for and hence not offered. Tonight we have been jumping around and dancing with black minibus drivers in a parkinglot and almost killed ourselves running across roads and buying Milyway. yay. I have my cellarphone and all documents and papers and contacts in the cabin-class bag i haf to check in unexpectedly, so you can imagine the hazzle to call up the peruvian family tonight. I pray the bags and documents will make it to Lima so I can enter the university there. I have got a headache.

US is mad and lovely and I would love to stay here for a while and travel the south. Stuff is badly organized though, i know I can't give US a fair commentary after a few hours but yeah I can surely tell this is a weird kind of democracy. Travel-me-mode is back on but since I am totally exhausted I am about to go to bed. C I tried to call you, but wrote here instead. I guess it is in the middle of the night anyways. With hopes of being in Lima tomorrow, Love, Joanna.

2007-01-29T14:29:00.000-08:00

Anders Wyller skriver om Lima, en metropol som inhyser 12 miljoner människor, med en infrastruktur tillräcklig för 2 miljoner. Min älskade stad, metropol, mikrovärld, "Lima la horrible" (Lima, den fruktansvärda).
Han sätter pricken (om än en negativ en) pa i:et. Ur Vagabonds nätupplaga:

"Lima. La ciudad de los Reyes. City of kings. City of fattigdomens kungar. City of smuts och damm. City of folk och rövare. Jag står i en ljuddusch. Ljudet av fattigdomens trätande. Ljuden av lort. Ljuden av tiggare. Mina tankar blir överröstade. Och hjärtat. Ljuden av hemlösa barn. Barn som springer som små Super Mario Bros-figurer mellan bilarna för att tvätta vindrutor eller sälja karameller. Jag står i en stad utan färger. En färglös stad. Du ser inte himlen i den här byn. Gud har dragit sin kos. Borta… Den grå skorpan, hinnan – ett dis som gör byn ännu mer eländig. Byn får inte tillbaka sina färger förrän till sommaren, när vindarna blåser bort dimbältet.
Men färgerna är nära. Sommaren är runt hörnet. Jag tvivlar på att den spanska conquistadoren Francisco Pizzaro var speciellt intresserad av vädret då han 1532 dundrade in här med sina 179 hästburna soldater. Han brydde sig väl inte heller särskilt mycket om stränder och vattentemperatur. Pizzaro var en tråkmåns. En grym sådan. Hans grymhet mot Amerikas infödingar var vida känd och en av de de främsta orsakerna till att omvärlden kom att se Spaniens kolonialpolitik som hänsynslös, blodröd terror. Pizzaro grundade Lima 1535, eller La Ciudad de Los Reyes som staden en gång hette, och koloniserade därefter resten av inkariket. "

2006-12-11T21:38:00.000-08:00

Portraits from Huaraz, November 2006.

nu eller aldrig

2006-12-11T18:40:00.000-08:00

Lima, Perú. Ja, nog är det exotiskt här, ibland litet farligt också! Igår avled Pinochet och det kablas ut nyheter från Chile, men annars lugnt efter borgmästar- och distriktsval i Lima. Julpynt började sälja i butikerna redan för Alla helgons dag och julgranarna i staden består av konstgjord gräsmatta och metallkoner. Den i mitt kvarter har kinalyktor i stället för julkulor. Till och med kvarterspolisens svarta, något skräckinjagande hund verkade nyfiken.

Stilla havets vågor och humboltströmmen för med sig extra mycket luftfuktighet i år (90 %) och folket undrar var sommaren huserar. Det spekuleras i vad fenomenet El Niño som slår till i år ska ställa till med, varmare eller kallare sommar? Jag sitter och äter saftiga frukter och läser finlands ambassads nyligen anlända direktiv. Det handlar om hur man överlever en jordbävning.

På universitetskampuset springer det rådjur bland blommorna, som pollineras av kolibrin. Jag påminner mig själv om vad jag sett i kåkstäderna när jag suckar över min uppsats om Perus expresidenter, jag har ju det orättvist bra i jämförelse. Om Alan Garcías nya regering rycker upp sig och borstar av sig korruptionen kanske Lima kan lika Buenos Aires om tio år. Tills dess fortsätter vi stå ut med ett växande monster till storstad, 12 miljoner människor som tar sig fram på förorenade gator utan att ha tillgång till metro eller fungerande kommunaltransport.

Peru har allt, ökenbeklädd kust, anderna och rengskogen. Otaliga pre-inka kulturer och tusentals arkeologiska skatter. Flora, fauna, utsökt mat, underbart folk, musik och dans i en otrolig etnisk blandning. Allt samsas sida vid sida i ett land märkt av en politiskt våldsam nutidshistoria, terrorism, korruption och djupa klasskillnader. Idag är himlen grå som en tjock åsnemage och jag väntar på att få fira jul men en kompis i inkastaden Cuzco i anderna. Mammas julgröt och pepparkakor får vänta ett år till.

The last night in Morocco (and hereby ends the hindsight for today)

2006-01-09T06:28:00.000-08:00

Chefchaouen at night. It is cold here, up in the mountains. Laura and Hannah has gone back to Spain and Geertrui and I are alone the last day. We decide on spicy soup and the last tajine for dinner and stroll around. We can still feel Africa, all though we are closer to Europe now and the hippie travellers roam the streets along with the Marroqui.

Jet pre-photography class

2006-01-09T06:22:00.000-08:00

I don't think there is anything in between winter and summer in Salmanaca, things happen over a night. This was a warm evening in March, just after photography class. Someone has been reallly thoughtful and opened up a pub just across the road from the fine arts faculty. There you can have a sangría or tinto de verano as the cars go by out into the desert-like landscape. the wind is warm on your legs and you think about the snow which is still on the ground at home. LaLa. Everything is dust and the grass is brown. Cherry trees have tiny blossoms, the bar owner's wife hangs out laundry to dry and above you, the trees (those short, thick and funny-looking Spanish ones) are growing back their leaves, creating shadow for the summer to come.

A visit at Joana's home in Portugal.

2006-01-09T05:55:00.000-08:00

Joana invited me over to her parent's house for a tasty dinner. The house looks like a futuristic residence from the moon, they designed it themselves. I remember the soup, it must have been something traditional for Portugal. I spoke spanish to Joana's dad and English to the cat (not intentional).

Sara finds beautiful things.

2006-01-09T05:49:00.000-08:00

Sara in Oporto. This day was colorful, warm and so very surprising. We spend the afternoon chasing harmless birds. Hah.

2005-11-24T16:29:00.000-08:00

Så vackert att det gör ont. Anno 2003. Titta, lyssna, igen och igen. Från Alberto

2005-08-15T10:10:00.001-07:00

Vad är det som har hänt mig? Något riktigt, riktigt bra. Flaggskepp seglar på horisonten och tigerliljorna blommar. Det finns ett mönster på väggarna och alla människor bär rosenblad under huden. Jag åkte och återvände och nu är jag fri, utan planer, utan mål, utan hål. Lyckan är enkel och melankolisk, lyckan är just här.

2005-08-15T10:03:00.000-07:00

Salamanca - Vaults, plazas and heartbeats in sandstone

2005-08-15T09:57:00.000-07:00

A rock in souther France;
Samba one Caipirinha party afternoon, a sunday, Mariana and Camila;
the view from the second floor outside the room where I studied iconography;
oui.

Biarritz and Salamanca secret garden

2005-08-15T09:36:00.000-07:00

Golden City Growing Grape Wild Sea - Biarritz and Salamanca secret garden.

bending words, improvising oranges.

2005-04-21T13:00:00.000-07:00

I wrote in a letter I never mailed: "El mar sonríe a lo lejos, dientes de espuma, labio de cielo". (Havet ler i fjärran, tänder av skum, himlaläppar.)

La balada del agua del mar, Federico García Lorca.

-> Things go by. Words. Perhaps they can stay and breathe, here.

After all, I am one of those Fenno-Swedish HBL ducks. A yellow one, rubber, like the one I bought in Ale-Hop in the shadow of the immense, ancient cathedral of Salamanca. Spanish highlands, deserts and random trees and Lorca whispering things to my neutrons on a perfect sunday. One thing, this duck says she is a hairy ducky. Famous for her hair, like me.

I bite a strawberry and continue. You are welcome.
För alla starka känslor börjar i magen, sa Janssons mumintroll. Hungrig?

We felt this funny feeling growing in our stomaches so we went picking oranges in Sevilla, they grow like grass. We picked and we shared and washed sticky fingers in fountains. Bitter and sour and full of sun. Improvising oranges.

Send letters from my past baby.